me and mom has been talking alot.
about the life i'm leading now.
more about Fir.
more about the family. my family. my extended family.
more about what i intend to do.
more about the age and maturity.

i find it very insightful, having to talk to her.
of things i never knew of. things i never thought of.
and i'm glad, things are fine.
Alhamdulillah.
i feel blessed.

but somehow, i am afraid.
of growing up..

and the mind wondered...
reminescence of the past.
remember those days when i was in primary school. life were different then.
less complicated.
less obligations.
in secondary schools, when all the crush(es) began.
puppy love they call it.
still studying to get good grades, worrying about which sch i will end up going.
yep, Yishun Junior College.
those were the past.
all that process, makes one grow more mature.

now i'm 21.
hijrah birthday soon. 8 Sya'aban.
i am a big girl now.
a young adult.
people have expectations of me.
my parents, my grams..
my sister is now looking at me as an example.
all that sounds good..

but..
am i growing up well?
am i a good daughter? a good role model to my sister?
will i be a good teacher?
i lack alot.
and i seek for guidance.
i am trying my best.

lead me.
for the better.
please.






ARGH.........!!!

somehow, i wish that explains everything..

pix 1: me and Azreen(the owner of the camera)
pix2: me and Amin(known him since Pri sch..)
pix3: me and the love......

hey hey..
SOME pictures of YJ bbq..
saje je pose dengan shades pada malam hari...
ni kes kegilaan Amin ah...

got it at last.

kepada sesiapa yang hendak mengambilnya, dipersilakan...

they say.. kalau cemburu bererti sayang..
haha.
he loves me.
and i love him too.

school life..
one presentation done..
and more piling up.
biler mau game?

and all that equates to..

...this is a song that doesn't end...
and it goes on and on my friend..
some people started singing it not knowing what it was...
and then continue singing it whenever just because ...
it is a song that doesnt end.....
(entah betul ke tak..sambung la sendiri eh..)

heh, just feeling happy.
and hopefully i'm sharing the joy..

heee...


"i love him"

(thought) these three words will explain ..
(thought) these three simple but meaningful words will suffice ..

don't they?

maybe this would....
"move on!"









I am happy.
For myself..
For a friend..
Hopefully things will be good for you, beb..

I am irritated.
Of my gatal-ness.ness.ness..
Rashes? I'm not too sure but its freaking red..

I am full.
Of assignments.
Of powerpoint slides.
Essays.
Deng!

I am in love.
Wahah!!



Sometimes, you feel like expressing yourself but the place(blog) does not permit you to. Why? Because you know that people read. But you want someone to know, to understand how you feel, to be able to share everything with someone, however, you simply do not know who. So, you gambled and hoped that someone will read and try to make you feel better.

Sometimes, you just want to be frank and tell someone everything, everything under the sun, everything that's bothering you, because you want that someone to be someone to know. But, you are afraid of telling, afraid that the someone will get hurt. Because he/she was hurt. Therefore, you keep everything to yourself, either hoping that he/she will somehow know and understand, or you, just simply be in denial.

Sometimes, you want to let out. But you do not want certain people to read. But you do not know who to share with. What are you suppose to do? Just swallow everything and keep quiet?

Sometimes, you wait. For someone. So much that you don't even care about others who tried. But, so many have tried, got ignored. And that someone has not come yet. Will you wait?

Sometimes you hide...


Went to school early today. felt to gendeng! result of not fully paying attention in class. eheh. was already on the way to school when a friend smsed, reminding of the class cancellation. what the!!.. but yea, great that Fir finished early, so we met, i accompanied him get his books! They cost a bomb lah! hah. and its freaking heavy! But yea, thanks for sending me to the bridge(that separates NIE from NTU). Swweet of youu...

We met again after my classes. Went to JE and had late lunch and went to Popular to get assessment book for my tutee. After which we went to catch "CLICK".. very touching movie. I TEARED!! for real. no hiding. even had to tap on his lap just to stop myself from tearing(dont ask why i do that, i dun even know myself..but it helps though..) But yea, nice movie! Moral of the story: Family always comes first!!!

And for now, i dont think we'll be catching anymore movies. Budget ah. Nak save duit! Hah.

Niways, we had fun.

I love him.


first few days of school were a lil overwhelming, especially with the lined-up assignments to be touched. were frantically looking for books after school(okay, frantically is a lil too exaggerating la, but yea, kinda semangat to look for the books). already having essays, assignments, projects to be done, all that poured to us within only a day! books have yet to be bought. and the timetable doesnt seem to help at all. haha. the funny part, my timetable was totally different from my friends! i have to go to school on wednesday, not for them!! so not fair!

tapi takper, aku okay. tetap maintain eh.

anyways, met few of my friends; YJ friends mostly. was delighted to see all of them.

first day of school, manage to go to school wit my dearie fir, yeyy, was a great feeling. kinda cool. glad that he's doing well in the new school, wit new friends and all. but kinda worried about him,having to settle things, modules, cca. Wish i could help. If only i really knew what was going on his mind. If only i could help. yeap, worried. very.

and today we met up in NIE. he came over. was super happy to see him walking towards me, seeing him smiling and all. and yea, the butterflies still do exist. hah. missed him.

'nuff of school

me? i'm not doing good. frankly. give me a sign! there's so much to express, so much to say. but i have yet to find a venue where i can do that. i cant. not now. not here.

hah. funny how tears can flow out easily.

but don't worry. i'm fine. please don't ask.


fireworks

fireworks!


SINGAPORE FIREWORKS FESTIVAL...

went to Esplanade to watch fireworks yesterday. it was by team Italy. Very nice. I like!
Here's a video of part of the fireworks..
Enjoy!

and while waiting...

The Lake House was superb..

i like it alot.

thanks for making it happen, dear.

1. Where do you live? Sembawang
2. Latest addiction? Firdaus.. muahah!!
3. Song that you're listening right now? Scooby Doo...where are you? (Cartoon Network)
4. What are you doing right now? Answering this.. duh~
5. Who was the last person you went out to eat with? Firdaus dear.
6. If you were a toy, what would you be? A care bear..because i care.
7. Where would you wanna go on yout honeymoon? where are we going, hunny?
8. What's your ringtone? L-O-V-E... (remix)
9. What do you think a toblerone is? a chocz..
10. What are you wearing right now? YJ tshirt, berms.
11. Do you wear contacts? yea, i do..
12. What was the best advice given to you? Do not always think you are right...
13. Can you drive? no.
14. What are your plans? menjadi hamba Allah yang abdi..to be a great teacher, to get married to a great guy, be a great mom to great children and a great wife to a great hubby. be a great daughter, sister.. Insyaallah...Ameen. wow. huge plans uh..
15. Favourite films? (among all current films) Pirates of the Carribean..
16. Do you like to dance? yes.. if only i could.
17. Are you too shy to ask anyone out? if you're talking about friends, no..
18. Worst feeling in the world? getting blame, and dun even know what happened? Feels so unsettled...so hanging.. I hate it!!
19. Worst sound? screeching sounds..high pitch sounds.
20. What's the first thing you do when you wake up? look at the time.
21. Roller coaster, scary or exciting? it's pretty scary, but very exciting.
22. How many times do you let the phone ring before you answer it? i'll pick it up once i hear it.
23. Is the glass half full or half empty? its the same. optimistically, half full. pessimistically, half empty.
24. Your best physical feature? my hands.. i'm good with my hands.
25. Milk of white chocolate? milk
26. Day or night? night. romantic atmosphere. so cooling.
27. Summer or winter? winter..
28. Cake or pie? dont fancy cakes, so definitely pie.
29. Diamonds or pearls? a lil bit of both..? can?
30. Sunrise or sunset? sunset
31. Have you ever broken a bone? no, just sprained an ankle.
32. You hate people who are? i dun hate. i dislike people who are damn egoistic. who talk big. who practices NATO.
33. Do you believe in fighting? no. believe in talking and settling.
34. What skill do you wish you had? wish i could play the drum very well.
35. Where are your favourite places? the beach!!
36. Who sent you the last sms? shah
37. Last sms you sent to? shah
38. Last person you talked on the phone? firdaus sayang.. accompany him while he wait for the time to enter the school's auditorium.
39. People whom you chatted with last night? i dun remember chatting last night. once i reach home, i settled myself and i slept. only talked to Firdaus for awhile.
40. Lat photos you took with friends? North View peeps.. great bunch!
41. Any plans of going out? Yes!! I wanna go out!
42. What would you do after answering this? I'm gonna log out.
43. Last question, your tag victims? Everyone in my list!! Are you in my list? Check it out!

darn..
i missed the outing with the NIE gerls. i missed the long-dued rashidah's bdae celebration. I miss you guys. Sorry Rash. Will make it up to you ya. But glad u guys had fun!

Fir's gonna start school soon. Will be able to see him in school then. Ahah!! How interesting.. But he's a lil worried about something. I'm worried too. But dear, be resassured that everything will be fine. . . .Show him a sign!!

For myself, school's gonna start soon too. And Monday, is the longest day ever!!! From 8.30am up till 6.30pm!!.. goodness gracious!! Had never been that long. And i miss school's food!!

till school starts again...