SOMETIMES..

sometimes i feel that i'm at lost..
not knowing what you are thinking of..
not knowing what you are encountering..
i want to know..
but somehow, you are not telling..
how deep can i dig?
who knows, i can lessen the burden..

due to that, i feel useless..
but trying not to believe in that..
cz i know that i'm trying my best..
to be what i believe i am..
a positive belief..

but then again, humans falter..
i tend to think ..
of the reasons why you wouldn't share..

am i not good enough?
am i not a good listener?
don't i give you good advices?

lots running through my mind now..
currently..
as i'm typing this away..

like you, i tend to worry too..
even though u don't want me to..
what's the point of me being here?

tell me..
enlighten me..
pls..




it was a necessary meet-up today..
and i'm so glad we met..
cleared the air..
with much understanding..
i love you..

never have i ever proclaim my love for you..
in public..
but here i am, expressing myself..
and would love to tell you that..
my love for you..
is true..

have never intended to hurt your feelings..
or make you cry..
all i want is for you to be happy..
be problem-free whenever you're wit me..
for i'll always be by your side..

i'm sorry for all the things that happened to you..
it's all fated, i should say..
for the better..
God has better things for you..

"Will you love me out of sympathy?"
"Will you stick to me even though the love is gone?"
those questions will NEVER come across my mind..
because i know that will never happen..
InsyaAllah, till the end of time..
our love will stay strong..
stronger by the day..

thanks for understanding..
for loving me the way i am..
for tolerating all my nonsense..(hehe)

but please do not doubt my love for you..
for it is true..

i'm loving you more today..
than yesterday..

im feeling glad..
really glad..


heyss..

apologies..
im unable to help you this time round..
you are on your own now..
interfering is the last thing i wanna do..

not that i'm avoiding you..
not that i don't wanna help you..
please don't assume..

but it's all because..
i know the consequences

i helped..

but im not gonna anymore..
again, im sorry..

- your old friend

Am i at fault? Why do i feel so wrong?... now, im sad. Is it true that it's better if i'm out of your life? I'm
busy and tired too. I have feelings too. Feelings of a 20 year old gerl, who needs your support in going through her life. Why does your words hurt so much? I've tried my best. Please understand me.


had a 4 hour break yesterday..
pretty long..
so we did our sastera essay..

after few hours of doing..
some of us got lethargic..
and took pix..

me and afah

and became more lethargic..
and the result...
is...
sleep..

hahaha..

then, after school went to Bedok..
to meet him..
yeyy!
bought cookies from Famous Amos for him..
yummy..



went to Bedok Lib to get a novel for my Sastera..
and went home after that..

fun time we had..
though short..
it's all abt quality..not quantity..


emotions..
feelings..

if only you knew..
it's difficult to express myself sometimes..

afraid that it'll hurt anyone..
i don't mind hurting myself as long as it doesnt hurt others..
but somehow, it affects me a lil..

yes, i should learn to tell people off..
should tell them how i feel..
but i can't bring myself to..

i'm hurt..
if only you knew..


something i did..
while taking a break from all those assignments..
fuh~




Guy Facts :

When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine,"
after a few minutes,he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

_________________________________________


Girl Fact :

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full ofquestions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more than that
_________________________________________

Above mentioned are the differences between a guy and a girl..
I can say that some are true..
Interestingly true..


dedicate this post to a friend..
Arafah..

U've went through alot..
More than what u told us...
More than meets the eye..
But u keep on moving..
Strong..

Even though it was alot to take..
You keep ur head high..
I envy you..
Your strength..
You, as a whole..
Love you..

Now..
After everything has happened..
You are still very strong..

But you know..
Everything happened for a reason..
Sometimes it's for the better..
Allah knows best..
And now that he's safe in heaven..
InsyaAllah, will be of help for you..

Envy your strength..
Really..

And yea, the girls were right..
WE will all be here whenever u need us..
'cause we love you..

*hugz*


Kepada muslimin dan muslimat..
Bersama kita sedekahkan Al-Fatihah..
kepada Iqbal Bin Muhammad Zulkiflie..

semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat..
InsyaAllah..

Al- Fatihah...


i planned to go home early yesterday..
to prepare for my debate today..
but..
still went home late..
heheh

actually went to yishun just to go to the popular bookstore to get some stuff..
tapi kan..jalan peh jalan..
pergi yishun10..
tengok movie timing..
ada "DORM"!
tunggu apa lagi..
itu jam jugak, decide nak tengok dorm..
wanted to catch the movie for quite some time..
and so we caught the show...

the timing was quite late and we have to wait for abt 2hrs..
so we sat down..
fir was very quiet..
worried abt him actually..
but yea, i hope my company made him better..

talked for awhile...
took pix..
as usual....

and DORM was not scary..was very touching..
terperanjat sikit je..
ayu, go watch...
as for fiza, i dno whether u should watch cz there are some scenes which i think will make u cry..
it concerns rabbits..
so yep..
fyi only...

nevertheless, it's definitely better than HEIRLOOM..
duh~

we had fun yesterday...


**i really hope you are okay.. im really worried abt u. i might not say it, but yea, it hurts to see u sad. really... sometimes, i feel like asking how u are doing, but am too afraid that it would be a sensitive issue .. but, i will always pray for you, InsyaAllah...


to a friend..who doesnt seem to be one..
thanks alot..~

u suggested that i could vent my anger on my blog..
and im so doing it right now..
hah..
great idea uh...
wow...impressed!?

yea, i've had enough of u and ur nonsence..
enough of ur pathetic words..
pathetic tone of ur voice..
pathetic face..
u don't even care in the first place..
do you??!

i got cheated by a cheater like u..
i pitied you..
u took me for granted...
a close friend u are...
hah!..

and now, ur making me chase after u...
all cz of some stupid cash u owe me..
oh please, im bz too..
and i have my own life..
ur not living in this world alone okay..
so do u mind if u could inform me early..
so i need not chase u!!

ingat best eh..kejar-kejar ni semua..
cmon ah...i have better things to do..
BUT i need the money!!
and you could simply make my life better by jz informing me earlier!
susah sangat ke???

and oh, u blame me for faulting u all the time??
u mentioned that everything u do is wrong in my eyes..
hello!.. pls ah..
i won't say that if ur right, okay..
do u actually know what ur doing??
every single thing that u do??
do some reflection..
pls..

im sick of ur nonsence...

'nuff said..



adakah aku yang harus dipersalahkan??
ku rasa bersalah..

namun, pada sisimu, ku tetap benar..

aku hanya insan yang biasa..

**crying inside...


oh my...
something is wrong wit me...

im very worried...
hope i'll get better...
soon..


yesterday..
went to khaty's place..
his bro's bdae...

don't really know what to get him..
so in th end, decided to give him cash..
haha..
so makcik makcik..

went there wit fiza..
and met the rest(except ayu) at a shelter..
near her void deck

and..
the food's really nice..
yummy!!

and as usual..
kekek tak sudah..

ingatkan pat rumah orang tak kene bully..
tapi aku salah..
amat salah sekali...
akan ku 'dibully' di mana sahaja ku berada...
ouh..

heheh..

the beauties...

the bdae boi..surrounded by the beauties

after that, met fir..
he accompanied me at the library..
and me did my essay..
thanks fir..
appreciate ur presence alot..


something i would like to share..
dedicate this post to those who are in pain..
doesnt matter if u have different definitions of pain..
in every aspect, it's just the same..

pain in the heart..
pain in the head..
busy, hectic life..
feeling like everything is against you..
thinking that you're a failure..

anything of that sort..
all are a test from HIM..
to make u a stronger person you are now..

but no matter how many tests u've received..
and u feel like giving up most of the time..
just tell urself that everything will be okay in the end of the day..
cz if it's not, then it's not the end..yet.

we're just human..
and weak we are..
but prayers will make us stronger..
having the belief that everything happens for a reason..
is most important..

Qada' dan Qadar..
as we, muslims, say..
it's one of the things that we should believe in..

whatever that's happening..
there's always a way of settling..
look beyond the things in front of you..
think far..
think of the good things u have now..

yes, we're humans..
and we tend to complain, curse, get mad..
but do u think it will be settled just like that..?

clear ur mind..
think things through..
if u have to sit down and talk to a friend,
please do..

but please..
don't be so pessimistic about ur life..
life is good..

HE knows best..
all these are just tests..



today..was very eventful..
for me..

in the morning..
read an email from fir...
a very first email from him..
a very sweet one..
was smiling so widely when i was readin it..
wow..

in school...
was bullied by the kakaks in sch...
muahahah!!..
literally bullied...
every word i said, every move i made..
was wrong...
ada je cari pasal...
what the!!~
hahaha...

kene hang pat toilet..
and outside the toilet..
takle angkat nyer..
kekek sampai menangis aku..
"minta ampun!! minta ampun.."
cant say anything much though.
was hugging my friend soooo tightly..
haha...

but do i deserve it??
well...
...."im oh so innocent!!"

anyway,after school..
fir was waiting at the interchange..
as soon as i saw him, i quickly ran to him..
take cover ah konon..
hiding behind him...
and the kakaks still tried to "bantai" me...
hahah...
kekek ah korang...

but whatever it is..
u guys are great..
really..
tapi kan...tolong maafkan aku...
aku hanya budak kecik...
aku tak dapat duit banyak macam korang...
betul kan...kak ti..?
sedih kan...
kasihanilah daku...
*pathetic face*

hehe..

after school..
met fir...
had a wonderful time, though short..
wish it was longer..
nevertheless, enjoyed the great company..
can never ask for more..
really made me forget all the "stress" that im having..
all the school work, assignments n all..
thank you..
very much..

*smiling away*



...please, oh please grant him good health..and take the pain away...


stress level increasing..

alert...!! alert..!!


a tribute of love..
from him...
amazing..



thank you..


yesterday..
11 March 2006..
was an enjoyable day...

we went to East Coast Park..
had a great time..
chatting..
laughing..
telling jokes..
degrading each other..
was a whole lot of fun..

how fun...

went to the stall again...
"Our Family Corner" stall..
nice name..only realized it yesterday..
and ate my all-time favourite ice-cream..
paddle pop..the rainbow one..
yummy..

check out the name!!!

was walking..
when all of a sudden, it rained..
took shelter..
waited quite some time for the rain to stop..

under the shelter...

our pathetic faces..help us...

waited...
and waited..(had a fun time waiting though)

waited for so long... u simply can't see anything..

yes sah!! it's gettin clearer!!

AT LAST!..we managed to get out if the shelter..
and walk to our spot..
THE spot...

a view from our spot...17...

sat down..
talked..
shared...
laughed..
take pictures...
a very pleasant day..
remember the time we were there few days before he went to Thailand..
and now, he's back for good..

having a fun time...

he made a heart using his feet on the sand..
how sweet...~

the heart...

us..in the heart(love)

thank You for the great company..


Inspired by Kak Ti..
A tribute to the lovely ladies in NIE..
Love y'all..




okay, i'll start off wit Kak Ti..
respect babe..haha..
the oldest among us..



Thank you..
For being like a sista to me.
For 'mengalah'-ing..
Even though i might not show it,
but i do respect u alot..
Kakak aper..~
Love u alot......


Next on the line..
Will be Ayu..
Suit with the name..very ayu..



Thank you..
For all the help u've given me..
For listening to all my stories..
For cheering me up when im a lil down..(w/o you realising)
For being a great friend..
Love ur presence..

Now, it will be arafah's turn..
Ibu kepada dua wira.. Ikhsan dan Iqbal..
Alhamdulillah...



Thank you..
For being the sweetest thing..
For sending me to the airport..
Really appreciate ur help..
For listening to my probz..and helping me out.
Nothing i could do to replay ur kindness..
For being a sis to me..
Sister by the blood!

Now, it's fiza's turn..
A gerl who will go wit branded stuff..
Kaya beb..



Thank you..
For everything..
For shopping wit me..
For sharing probz..
For clearing my doubts on certain issues..
Tolerating my act-cuteness..
And be careful for the ulat!

Next on the list will be Syahida..
She already has a fiance..wow..



Thank you beb..
For being such a nice lady..
to all of us..
For cheering us up alot..
Wherever we are, on the bus, on the street, in the class..
Very kecoh..i loike!

Next is Khaiyisha..
The coolest lady among us..



Thank you..
for being a friend..
Envy u 'cool'-ness..
even though ur stress..
haha..
love you..

As for Rashidah..
Who's boyfriend is now in Thailand..
und how u feel..haha



Thank you..
for clearing my doubts in class sometimes..
and for being kecoh ..
haha..

Khatijah or Khaty for short..
She has unpredictable behavior..
Sometimes can be serious and sometimes giler..



Thank you..
For being a great friend..
You're a really good listener u know that?
Love you..

And to all the kakaks..
Muahahah!!..
Da tue!!...

Okay okay..
'nuff said..nanti kene sepak..hee~


feeling rather sensitive nowadays..
i wonder why..
ugh!..hate this feeling..

but me being me..
always cool about it..
even though it's killing me inside..

no worries..

anyway, had a great time with the other 8 pontianaks today..
laughed so loud and so much on the bus..
till fiza teared..
and our stomachs hurt..
hahahhaha!!!
if only i have a video to share...

love u guyz...
i really do..


here's the joy of my life..

to the passerby: yea, here's the pix..more will be up soon..
to my gal frens: thanks alot!~..u know what i mean.. love u guyz!




Eversince he came back from Thailand..
Things are going well for me..
Feeling happier by the day..

Well...
Long distance relationship is rather tough..
Yea, i believe u guyz know that..
And the one month wait was worth it..

Fetched me from school everyday(so far)..
And yes, all the way from Bedok..
Pity him..
..but loving it..haha..
Sungguh terharu!!~
Maybe repaying the one month of absence..
Gee~..

He's lovely..
i thank God for his existence in my life..


PLS answer my prayers..

Ya Allah,
Engkau lah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang..
Telah ku melihat penderitaannya..
dan kesengsaraan yang telah dia hadapi..
Dengan pertolonganMu, ringankanlah bebannya, Ya Allah..

Ku sedar, ini semua adalah ujian dariMu..
tetapi, kita hanya insan yang lemah..
yang tidak mungkin dapat menerima semua dugaan ini dengan mudah..

Ya Allah,
kasihanilah hambaMu..
Engkau lah yang Maha Mengasihani..

Ameen...
Ameen..Ya rabbal 'alameen..


was playing around with my hp..
using the Ulead program..
and came up with this..
nice uh..



anyway,
have u ever felt like helping someone sooo much..
but u simply can't do anything?
yea..
that's how im feeling right now..

knowing that someone is suffering so much..
all i can do is pray..
pray that everything will go smoothly..
one fine day..
Insyaallah..

please answer my prayers..


this 'pain' on my chest..
sensing that something wrong's gonna happen..
feeling uneasy..
i'm wondering myself..
why oh why??
what's gonna happen?

am i sick?

am i being paranoid?

the 'pain' still persist..


today..
3 March 2006..
he came back to Singapore..
managed to fetch him, though very late..

and to those who made it happen,
i thank YOU..

mom, i love you..
thanks for allowing me to fetch him..
appreciate it alot..

sis, thanks for following..
even though i know u jz wanna have a free breakfast..
nevertheless, we enjoyed ur company..
love you..

Arafah!!..wa manyak-manyak telima kasih sama lu ..
sama laki lu ah..
wa manyak terhutang budi lo..
hati wa rasa gumbira lo..
wa caya sama lu ah..
susah mau cari kawan macam lu ah..
telima kasih ah..

and to fir..
wow..ur back..
still trying to accept that fact..
it's been a month..
only God knows how much i miss you..
glad ur home, safe..

take care all...